Post #162

I have seen the battlefield. I have marched in the ranks. I have heard the King's decrees. I know my Sovereign's orders. I have stood by as losses were made and I have watched as small victories were won. I have seen the pain and loss that a battle brings. I have seen the desperation of failure. This war is not a game.

God forbid that I should treat it as one.

It is not against flesh and blood that I strive- or else I'd see that I have been wounded. It is not kingdoms of this world which are at war- or else it would be clear to all for whom I fight. It is not a famine, flood, or violent storm from which I run- for in plights from nature's fury there is little hope. It is not a foe with whom I quarrel, not a fear of which I am in dread, not an outward and foreign force which wages against me.

No. It is a friend, the most intimate of enemies, the most dangerous of harms- it is one whom I have always known who swings her sword at me. It is my closest companion and most constant peer who has wounded me and weakened me in this fight.

It is myself. It within me. It is my weakness of determination. It is my lack of vehemence. It is my love of self. It is my addiction to comfort. It is my pride.

It is my sin against which I fight. It is myself.

I have been warned- it is not a battle fought well alone. I have been instructed in ways of wisdom, in strategies of war. I and my fellows have been sent out to slay, each of us, our own man, side by side together. But somehow, in the midst of the battle and the deceptions of sin, and falsehoods of the fog, which around me lies- I failed to slay my foe and instead I defended her. I did not listen to those who warned me against the games that I played. I made little of the commands of the King, one by one. I compromised. I have gone and made the enemy a friend.

It's time to slay the dragon.

It's time to root it out.

It's time to set fire to myself, to my sin, so that by the light of the flames the whole world will see the emblem on my heart and know that even in my darkest hours, even in my weakest moments, even in the farthest corners of the most abstract parts of my life Jesus reigns!

In every choice that I make- what to eat and who to love- the Lord, God, commands my destiny. In every decision, even in my weakness of loyalty, He moves for the purpose of His glory. All is from, through, for and to Him- and no enemy can dissuade Him from His cause.

The hope that I have, the confidence in forgiveness of sins and victory of the battle lies in His character. For though I battle, and though I fail, His kingdom will not fall. Victory is guaranteed. He has already won.

So, I learn that this battle, this fight, this pain and loss and failure is not for the defeating of the devil, for He is already doomed, but for the strengthening of my faith, the testing of my endurance, the building of my courage, the killing of my pride. This battle is for the glory of my God. It is not a game.

God forbid that I should treat it as one.