Now I'm walkin' on ice!

More like soaring above it, really. I had a rather sour morning but my skatingpractice totally made up for it! I had a lesson and everything I did seemed to be perfect. My jumps were huge and smooth and it felt like I wasn't even even jumping, it was as if someone had thrown me up into the air.
Tomarrow I have to work and then I have a lot of homework to do.
So, I know this was short but, see ya!
Samia

I'm walkin' on sunshine!

Not really, I just felt like saying that. I've had a rather tough week. The most frustrating part about it all , is that I know my frustration is my fault. I finally got the homework for my CIT class done, the problem is: it was due two weeks ago, and now I'm behind in last week's homework... oiee. My internet router is having issues, so I had to do all my online homework at the college library, which brought back a lot of memories. I used to sit in that library doing nothing for four hours every other day... thankfully I did see friends every once in a while.
I have to work tonight and I just don't feel like it. It's a Monday, so I'll have to clean the ice cream machine tonight, which is a big pain in the butt. Maybe my boss decided to do it yesterday, that would be nice...
Well, I should be going, I know that was a short note, but anything to suffice my need for attention....

Samia

Rain, rain go away, come again another day.

Yes, its raining. Its been raining since sometime sunday morning.
I am sitting, sorry, slouching in my recliner and I have bee since about nine o'clock this morning. My room is much neater though. I think thats because Mom came to collect the laundry that was all over my floor.
There are so many things that i could be doing right now, but I'm still so bored.
I had a dream the other day, like a day dream. In it I saw myself swimming in a pond, or a lake, whichever. There was a bit of a dock, if thats at all what you could call it, and there was a big oak tree at the edge of the water, shading some of the dock. Oh, there was a rope hanging from it too, over the water. This lake was in the middle of a small clearing in the woods. The sun was shining down almost an orange, it must've been sometime in the afternoon. There was a little cabin nearby, with a loft and an awning over the front porch. It was beautiful, so quiet and serene. I think there was someone there with me... I tried to draw it, but it didn't turn out too good. I guess I'll have to just imagine it.
I drew a picture of Memory yesterday. I read and old peom and the author mentioned "Memories golden chain..." so I drew a picture of a girl with lots of hair and a long golden chain wrapped 'round her shoulders several times... she had flowers in her hair and a very long messy skirt with ribbons on it... I'll have to scan it onto the computer sometime...
well, I should go... what for, I have yet to decide... so here goes,
Samia

Late Night Note

Hello, yes it s rather late for me, even if it is only ten thirty.
Things are looking up. Mom and I made a deal. If I get up at five thirty every morning and take my little brother to school for her than I won't have to pay for gas to go skating. That saves me over twenty bucks a week. Plus I'm getting up earlier and am having a much better disosition...(sp?)
My coach says that if I work really hard that I can qualify for the adult sectional championships next year and if I place top four in that I head to nationals. He says I'll kick butt. It's pretty exciting.
Well I'd better head to bed. I've got to get up early tomarrow and go skate!
Samia

Do me a favor and slap me every time I'm being passive.

I am a couch potatoe.
There I said it. I hardly get any exercise and I'm very lazy.
Yes, I have talent. Yes, I have "a sport". And yes, genetically I am very athletic. But that is not enough.
I am so sick of reading what I write. I write all these great and wonderful things of myself, but I can't live up to any of them! I look at myself in the mirror and say, "Today is a new day, today I will change." But I never do!
"If you don't take control of your life, don't complain when someone else does." I don't complain, but I'm disallusioned as to who I really am. And it sucks!
Yet somehow I feel as if I've been here before, confessing to myself the error of my way. I really don't like circles.
I want to be the hardest worker anybody could ever be. I want to do what is right the whole way through. I want to live up to what I think of myself. I want to be strong, be brave, and never give up. But what will change me to make me that person? I am the guy that says, "oh, I need a break, I never get breaks." but I am always saying that, always using that excuse.
Tomarrow is Sunday. People say that good things happen on Sunday. But do they happen to me?
I wish I had...No! I do have a friend that is right beside me the whole way. A friend who supports me, and encourages me. A friend who tells me the truth when I'm being lazy and good for nothing. I do have a friend in Jesus Christ, but why, oh, why don't I listen to him?
He is the voice of truth, and right now I need truth more than anything, so why can't I hear Him?
I have no cunclusion for this dreadful topic of discussion... Well, I do, but I know that it is impossible to get myself to act on it... What shall become of me?

You need to be brave enough to forget who you are in order to find out who you can become.

"Mommy's a retard" My mother just said. But thats okay 'cause I've decided that I'm an idiot. And its not a joke. I really am. But if I were to reasonablly look at the situation I would find that most people are. Idiots, I mean. Its so stupid how people, myself included, never seem to learn from their mistakes. Any kind of mistakes, from tripping on a pantleg to not thinking before one speaks. Idiots. We're all a bunch of bloomin' idiots. And it'll never change. If men never grow up, than women must be degenerating. Our whole world is falling apart.
But I suppose that you could say that our world is sick, not dead, so there is some hope, however minut it may be.
But that quote; "You need to be brave enough to forget who you are in order to find out who you can become." I want so badly to forget myself. It would truly be the nicest thing. Amnesia. That would be nice. To start over on a completely new slate and have my whole self in front of me to discover. I wonder where I would start. Or would I? Would I still be myself, or is this even myself? I feel like a charactor in some cartoon, I never change, even though I try so hard. Its the same story every time. And it gets boring after a while.
And now I've rambled on when I ought to have gone to bed. Friends please keep me accountable! My bedtime is now at eight thirty (and I'm not joking). Seeing that it is nine o'clock, I'm now off to bed...
Goodnight!
Samia

Nothing much.

Hello again world!
I wis that I could say that everything is going great, but I am lazy, and as an "athlete" thats not the gretest thing to be. I have such a long way to go and I have no one to keep me accountable but myself...and I'm not very good at it.
This is going to be a very short post, because I need to go pick my little brother up from school soon.
I'm only skating on Tuesdays and Thursdays right now, part of it is because I'm still getting over my cold. But I know I could do better. I was going to go talk to my old boss on Friday but I had forgotten that I had to work, so hopfully I will be able to talk to her on Wednesday morning. The sooner I do that, the less money I'll have to spend for ice time. saving money is always a good thing.
My head is much better (though I still have a bump) but I think I got whiplash from having my head so far back, my neck doesn't hurt as much as it did yesterday though.
I have athlete's foot again, it doesn't affect my skating but I just had it a few months ago, I wonder where I got it?
Well I should head out, see ya' 'round, y'all!
Samia