Long Time No See

So it's been a while since I've checked in here. I've only been able to get the internet on my Dad's iphone and I can't blog from there. Lot's is happening and yet somehow I feel like I wasn't there for any of it. I don't think it's even hit me that I'm in New York yet.
I have so very much to say and my mind has been racing like mad these past few days but it's really hard to think at all with my new cousin yelling and giggling right next to me. She's trying to get my older brother to drink a diet coke she prepared for him that he's not interested in. Oh, there she goes, forcing chex mix at him now. Joy. Aren't the holidays great?
I'm trying to be nice, really, and it's hard. I think I've disappointed my Uncle Bill. He must think that I'm a spoiled brat and not at all interested in getting to know his kids.
Well, I think that I'd better go.
Samia
Merry Christmas.

Christmas is Coming

"I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love
Even more than I usually do
And although I know it's a long road back
I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
And presents by the tree

Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams"

I can hardly wait for Christmas. Just twenty days away. I'll be visiting family in the great state of New York. I haven't visited in three years and I've not bee there for Christmas since I was ten, so I'm really looking forward to it. It will be nice to see family and old friends, ohh, Grandma's fudge and lemon bars. :) It will be nice to hear the story again as well. It's sad. The way the world has made Christmas such a huge deal that even those of us who know what it really means have trouble focusing on the real "reason for the season". With God's grace we can remember, however. I pray that I will.

"O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

'Til He appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!

O night divine, O night when Christ was born;

Led by the light of Faith serenely beaming,

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,

Here come the wise men from Orient land.

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger;

In all our trials born to be our friend.

He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger,

Behold your King! Before Him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another;

His law is love and His gospel is peace.

Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother;

And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise His holy name.

Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,

His power and glory evermore proclaim."

Thanksgiving 2008

So I started the day of Thanksgiving, not very thankful at all, but somehow, being that the name of the day is Thanksgiving, I kept finding things to be thankful for.
The day started rather loudly, as it always does- "Somebody woke me up, Ryan's picking on me, Mom Aaron farted on me..." - I'm not kidding, that's how days normally start at my house. Four boys in a cracker box obviously does not equal quiet. You've got to understand though, I'm and introvert, too much noise and people and I kind of loose it. So at nine o'clock, having only been awake for about an hour, I escaped. I took Shadow for a walk. I complained my way around the neighborhood as Shadow attempted to rip my arm off- not on purpose mind you, he just really likes to chase squirrels and he's part lab, so he's big and strong. Then I took Sasha (the other dog, she's much smaller and doesn't like squirrels quite so much) and as I walked around the block again I noticed that all of my neighbors that have dogs have small dogs. Dogs that yip and nip at your heels and sit on you furniture and have lots of hair, hair that gets stuck in your couch and carpet. It got me to thinking- my dog, Shadow, he may be big and he's definatley not a lap dog, but how many of those neighbors, with small dogs, can sit on their dogs?! I know that sounds silly, but when you have a big dog you can hug them, hang on them and sometimes sit on them and they generally tend to not mind, but with a little dog, sure, they can sit on your lap, but you can't sit on theirs. It's seems really stupid now but it made lots of sense to me at the time.
Anyway, by the time I got back to the house my disposition was a bit more cheery. That was only the begining of a day with quite a few ups and downs, I would realize something that I should be thankful for and then someone would upset me and the circle continues. But you know what, I have to be thankful for those downs too. If their were no downs, there would be no significance in the ups. If I had been able to play the piano while my brother was sleeping I'd not have gone on a walk by myself and not only gotten excercise ( which is rare for me these days ) but I'd not have tried to find something to be thankful for and the rest of the day probably would have been rather boring.
And now, I must first say that I am very thankful for the cold, for if there was no cold there would be no cozy, because my my fingers are so cold they are not working correctly anymore, I must go. :)
Oh, the picture above, it looks quite a bit like where I used to live and I thought I'd put that up to remind me to be thankful that I don't live there anymore, for if I did, I'd not be who I am now, and I don't think I like the person that I would be.
Forever Thankful,
Samia

Hi y'all! :)

So, I've been sick the last few days and I'm starting to get over it, but I think I'm going to take it easy for the next few days just so that I can completely recover. I think that might be my problem- I've been sick a lot lately and I think it's because I'm not letting myself recover before getting back to life. Not that life is hard or anything, but when I'm sick it sure seems that way.

I go back to work tomorrow morning, so I think I'm going to take it easy and sit out of the dancing at rehearsal today. I'm going to just make sure that I don't miss anything important, but I'm not going to tire myself out by dancing.

I haven't picked up a camera in a while and I think I'd like to sometime.

I know this is a short post but I'm running out of things to write.

Later! :)

Samia

Haha!

That last post was a little bit funny. :)
Well, I have half an hour and like a 2% chance of being interrupted again, so hopefullly I'll be able to catch you up.
Uhh, where to start.
Well, I guess I could start with,
"I'm working about, oh, eighteen hours a week, I think, at the nursery at church, I need to be working 32 though, so I'm going to have to get another job. yuch.
I just applied to the Master's college and I'm super excited and nervous, I have to wait until December 22 before I even know if they've accepted me. Eeek. And if they have, which I'm very nervous about, then I'll have to start all of the financial aid craziez. Yuch.
I am going to be in a play. The Music Man. It will be showing in the end of January, and I'm super excited. :) I'm making one of my costumes myself and it's turning out fabulous. Maybe I'll post some pictures when it's done. I can't wait to dance in it. :)
I'm going home for Christmas. YAHOO!! I absolutely cannot wait. I haven't seen Home snow since I was eleven. And I haven't seen family and friends since I was fourteen, so I'm super, super excited. :)
Our family was going to move, but people are silly so it didn't happen and now all my books are packed in boxes. Man. I really don't want to unpack and then find out I am moving and then have to pack up again. Yuch.
I'm coming down with something. Yuch. The really annoying part is that I'm not quite over the last 'something'. My glands are so swollen that my face looks fat. Eew.
I'm tired. I didn't go to bed until past midnight. Stupid, stupid, girl. It is Thursday. I don't have to go anywhere tonight, but I have to work tomorrow morning. Yuch. "
...And that's just the beginning! :)
Well, I think I'm going to get ready to go, Au Revior, Au Demain, ah, c'est possible. Un petit possible... oops, sorry... :)
lol
Samia

Goodbye - Hello :)

So, it's been, what? - like three months since I was on here last. Yeah, I wish I had a good excuse.

Well, rest assured that I am back, just not this moment. :)

Gtg,

Samia

Ooooh! Food!

My goodness! God is so wonderful it's weird!  He's given me so many talents / gifts and I've just discovered another! I had to make dinner for my family tonight and I wasn't sure what to do, so I made it up as I went along. (it was fun!)

I started with ground beef  in a frying pan. I couldn't tell you all the things I added to it- white wine (cooking wine) fish sauce, black pepper, pizza spices, steak sauce, chicken bouillon cubes, steak spices, parmesan cheese- lots of it- and a little bit of water...maybe some other stuff too. Any way I just sprinkled this and that in the pan until I ran out of ideas and it smelled good. Then I sliced a roll of wheat bread and spread butter and garlic powder on it and put it in the broiler for a few minutes (I  think it was in for about a minute too long). I set a salad (lazy- bagged salad nothing thrilling) on the table and sliced a melon... and I think that's about it. It wasn't a lot of food but boy! was it filling! and it tasted good! I don't think I've ever tasted anything quite like it- it was, I don't know, earthy? that's not a good word for it... anyway it turned out really good.

I've cooked like that before and I enjoy cooking like that. I like baking too- I'm one of those people that guess-timate and sometimes completely deviate from the recipe or don't use one al together! But hey! they food tastes good! (i just wish i didn't burn things so often)lol

Anyway- I just felt like writing that :)

Gotta go!

:)

Samia

:)

Last day of High School - Forever!!

So, right now I'm sitting in a CIT (Computer Information Technology) Lecture. Some guy (who's not my teacher) is talking about computer security. Yeah, so I'm not really listening...
Anyway, after this class, I have the next class and then I'm done. I'm graduated! No more High School!!
Oh my Gosh!! What am I going to do with myself?!! Jk, lol.
:)
So, last night my Mom and I (in the span of like a minute and a half) decided that I'm going to go camping with three friends in two weeks at the beach. I'm also going to do a birthday (for my little brother) / graduation party, at the beach on our last day of camping. It'll be fun!!
Now I need to do graduation pictures. I've never done any type of school pictures, except for my college ID card. I like taking pictures so much, I wish I could do them myself, but I can't imagine self portraits looking halfway good. :-P
I'm going to a very cool birthday party on Friday. I'm excited! My friend is doing a kind of Bohemian style garden party. With flowers and lights and candles and yeah, it's going to be lots of fun! It's going to be late, like at seven thirty ish, so that the sun is down. Because she's going to string lights around the bandstand in her garden. It's going to be sooo pretty!
hm...

Oh!!! CAMP!!!
I went to camp last week! It was AWESOME!!!!! I was on the Outlaws, our team color was orange and we came in dead LAST!!! and I'm proud of it!! I got to take the flag home with me! I painted it for the team, it has "wooden" lettering that says Outlaws at the top and then there is a silhouette of crossed smoking pistols in the center and then at the bottom it says "We're kind of a big deal" It's awesome!
The most exciting thing about camp, though, is that we had John MacArthur as our guest speaker!! He was just going over the doctrine of justification, the basic gospel, but the way he explained it was so cool! One of my favorite things that He said was that when God saved us, He didn't only save us from the consequences of our sin, He saved us from our sin itself. We don't have to live in sin anymore, because He saved us from it. Isn't that cool! It's so full of hope! I've heard that before and I've always believed it but I've never thought about it like that before!
I made a lot of friends at camp and had a lot of fun, I really liked the bus ride on the way there. Eighteen hours in a small place with like thirty five other people...it's AWESOME!!! You get so tired and then eat candy and get sugar high, my gosh, it's like every body's high! It's so hilariously fun! On the way home we were all so tired that now, everything is my fault (don't ask me why, I was sleeping when this was decided), Joe's new name is the Stud muffin (That was my doing-not my idea, but I officiated it) and Noah is the bear(which is funny cause that's what his name means...:) Sooo much fun! Next year is my last year )`: But I'm really looking forward to it. I pray that God would grow me so much by then.
Well, class is over, I still have one more class after this,but I think I'm going to go get some fresh air... :)
Later-

Life is getting scarier...

Very much so in fact. I went to the college ministry on Sunday and now I'm terrified of growing up. I'm not kidding. Getting a full time job, learning to be even more responsible, getting married (if it's God's will) children, ... Yeah, I know all that's a long way off but I'm still scared! How do I know that I'll make good decisions?! Will I like my job? Will I marry the right guy?!
Okay, so maybe most of this is about marriage. Honestly, I do want to get married. I didn't used to. But now God has given me the desire and I'm not sure what to do with it. That little saying is so true; "You don't decide who you're going to marry. God does. You just have to wait to see who you get stuck with." Marriage for me is a wonderful thought, definitely something I look forward to. But I'm absolutely terrified that... I don't know, that I'll marry the wrong guy or blow off the right one! And I know that it's not even my decision:God decided long ago. And what if it's God's will that I don't get married!? then what? I have no long term plans. I'm going to work full time for the next year and then go to Master's for hopefully four years and then what?! If I get married, according to rumor, it'll be while or just after I'm at Master's. If I don't get married...am I going to live with my parents for the rest of my life?! I love my parents and I'm not running screaming from the house, but I really don't think I could live with them forever. I do love them. :)
And here's the college thingy! I was/am going to go to Master's to get my degree in music education, but now I'm not so sure. I definitely want to go to Master's but do I really want to take music? If I don't get married will I be able to live off of that? If I do get married, will I be able to use that? I love art and music and food and sewing and lots of stuff, but what do I want to take in college?!!
I need prayer. Lot's of prayer.
Sometimes I just wish that a knight in shining armour will sweep me off of my feet so that I can just forget about college all together...

Yeah, I'm scared.

Leadership?

In my youth group at church, our small group leaders and staff members are constantly encouraging us to be leaders. Leaders: a difficult concept to describe. It's not really taking charge all the time. It's not telling other people what to do. It's more of knowing when to do what by way of pure observance. It's being a good example and encouraging others by example as well as actions and words.
I guess I've always thought of myself as the follower. The person that is constantly learning from someone else. Never a leader. I thought that it wasn't for me. I thought that I didn't have what it takes to be a leader. But now I think I was wrong.
Even if I don't enter church leadership, or get into politics, or become a police sheriff or anything like that; I can still be a leader. I must still be a leader. God has called us to encourage one another and to build one another up. That is leadership. I can't just sit back and let everyone encourage me. I've learned so much from doing nothing that I have so much to offer! This isn't just a point of view, not just a frame of mind; it's action. I need to be the first to speak, and not of myself. I need to be the first to act, in the intrest of others. I need to be the first to admit I don't know what I'm doing. I need to be deep in God's word so that every action reflects His glory, grace, and perfect holiness. And I need to make this more than words on paper.

:)

CAMP!!

I am soooo excited about summer camp!!

We leave on Sunday night and I will have lots of stories for this blog when I get back!
We're having a camp rally at church this Wednesday and hopefully we'll get to find out what teams we're on and what colors to bring (in clothing). I'm going to go to the thrift store on Thursday or Friday and I'm going to buy t-shirts in my team color (if I don't already have any) and a pair of black fitted cargo pants for when we play underground church.
Explanation: for those of you reading who don't know what underground church is, I shall explain: A few years ago at winter camp, with our previous pastor (Eric Bancroft), we played this game. Quincy Lema, a thin short red headed guy, comes up onto the stage with a big Tupperware box under his arm. "Alright," he says, kind of nonchalant,"We're going to play a game, I'm sure you've all heard of it." he places the box at his feet and bends down to open it, "best game in the world," he mumbles with a smile on his face. He pulls a deck of cards out of the box and as he throws them into the air he says, "You can guess what it's called" everyone in the audience moans. Fifty-two card pick up. yeah, right, the best game in the world.
Anyway, what happens next is rather foggy in my memory because it happened so fast and was so very frightful. All the light go out. The girls in the front row scream.
I was sitting next to my friend Jordan, who was sitting on the end of our row. Our pastor, when no one could see him, ran into the room and jump out at Jordan, screaming with all his might. i don't remember exactly what he said but the gist of it was : Be warned they are coming, you have to stay strong, you must stay together, don't let them break you. you have no idea what's in store for you. Run!
So, Eric, screams next to Jordan, and continues screaming all the way up the aisle to the stage where he hollers out more warnings, and then runs around the room for a few minutes shaking and screaming at people. He even pick up a freshman and carried him around the room a little bit before putting him back in his seat. And then, just as quick as he had come, he ran out the other door. to say everyone was a little shaken would be an understatement.
I think we sat there in somewhat silence for about half a minute and then the lights came back on. Everyone turned around in their seats to see who was coming in the door. two tall muscular men walk into the room. they are both wearing black ski masks, fitted black shirts and black cargo pants. I think I remember seeing guns at their sides. Behind them walks in BK, which of course made the whole thing fall apart. It's kind of hard not to recognize the tall Canadian man. Even dressed as Hitler (and very well done )he was still BK. Anyway, he comes in with more masked men behind him. What he said next is fuzzy but he basically told us that since we were Christians he was going to make us suffer and he was going to make a game of it. so we had five minutes to go back to our cabins and get on warmer clothes and then run. (it was a game, so after BK left, Quincy came back and gave us boundaries and rules and told us that our goal was to find Eric and become a part of his church) So we spent the rest of the night trying to avoid getting caught by the scary men who howl freakishly when they see you in the dark. The group I was in ran into two angels. the masked men couldn't take us back to jail if we were with an angel. there were rumors going around that there was a demon too. Apparently she was dressed as an angel but she was sending people toward the masked men instead of toward the pastor.

so there it is! and I am sooooo excited about playing it again this year. two years ago I was able to find the church. it was wonderful!! we sat on the ground in the cold dark and sang hymns and the pastor read scripture. Or at least he was trying to, I think he was speaking from memory...there wasn't enough light in those woods to see how many fingers on e had, much less words on a page.
So, much fun. And so inspiring and rejuvenating!
I can't wait!

Hm, I think I'll give my fingers a break for a moment.

:)

That Dreadful Bus!

That makes me think of enchanted. "Nobody stabs MY bus!!"
lol
:)
I'm going to interupt myself for just a moment here:
My teacher had us send him an email with an attatched picture and a link in it. His emphesis was on correctly writing the messege as if you were sending a messege to a client or boss. So I did mine (I wasn't really paying attention, so I was worried I had done it wrong) and then the teacher called me over to his desk. Uh, oh, I thought. So I went up and he told me that I was doing "super" and he wanted to know what I was going to major in and then told me that he was really proud of me. Then he told me that I was doing really well and one day I would be very successful and that I should remember that he said it first. :) It was cute (he's a really big russian guy) So, obviously I was relieved. But it was cool and I thought I'd say that.

Okay, back to the Bus. Yuch!
So, Mom has this thing about me riding the bus to or from school, and somehow I've always managed to get myself out of it. Until today. I have to ride the bus home and, unless I walk, there is no way of getting out of it. And even thought the bus is terribly slow it would still be faster to ride the bus. I'm nervous. I'm going to walk to the transfer station so that I don't have to pay for a transfer ticket and I don't know how long it will take, so I'm going to give myself like 30-45 minutes to walk there and I'll probably get there way too early, but at least I won't miss the bus.
I sorta have a confession to make. I argued with my Mom last night about it and I was angry even until today (the ride here with her wasn't too pleasant). I was at fault. Even had I been correct, which I wasn't, i still would have been at fault. She's my Mother for mike's sake! i have plenty of reasons to be kind and long suffering and patient and loving, and no right to debate what she says. God put her over me, an I ought to obey her without question, even if I think it doesn't make sense, or I think it's scary.
Even though, I'm still terrified of taking the bus, I'm sorry that I was angry and I know that my aunt will read this and tell my Mom what I said. :) (thank you, btw)

:) "Thank you Jesus. I am shaking like a leaf. You have been the king of glory, now won't you be my prince of peace."

Oh!! I'm so excited!!! I dressed up my best friend and her little sister (I think I wrote about this already, actually, but oh well, I'll write it again)
anyway, I dressed them up victorian style and did thier hair pretty and took pictures of them in black and white and I'm going to develope the film today!! Hopefully I'll have enough time in the lab to print some of them too. I'm soooo excited about it!! On Monday, I printed three pictures of my other best friend and they turned out so cool! I hope she likes them (I'll show them to her tonight) because she looks awesome in front of the camera.

Oh!Oh! Oh! I just remembered! (my life is very exciting right now!!) On Monday we had a critique in my photo class and... oh, I've got to explain the assignment... :
My shadow and me ; pick an object to carry around taking pictures of it's shadow, and shadow's on it. Make four prints and matte them.
So I was able to finish the assignment on time, which no one in the class ever does, and I put them up on the wall for critique. I was the last person to get critiqued so as I'm waiting for my turn I'm beating myself up and thinking, oh, I should have paid more attention to how gray I made those proof sheets, argh, I didn't burn that corner of that print enough! and ect... And then the teacher gets to mine and completely blows me away! she says that it was perfect and she probably wouldn't have done quite as well and the prints were gorgeous and you couldn't see my spot toning and the presentation was perfect and you couldn't tell if that picture was upside down because it just turned out so well and really looked better that way... It was wonderfull!!! All I need to work on is varied distance in my proof sheets. that's all. she says that I set the bar so high that now I have a target on my back, because my work was so much better than every one else's. unfortunately this means I have to meet that bar on the next two projects as well, but, hey, I enjoy a good challenge! :)
it was so wonderfull that I've lost all attention to grammer! :) lol :)

so now the hardest part of course is to keep my head the same size it was when i'd thought that my project turned out bad. Humility. hm, so difficult. I hate my pride. and even in saying that I feel my head expanding because hey "I'm being more humble than you are!" funny, isn't that pride?

Well, I've typed my way through the first class of the day and I think I'm going to go check my email now.

:)

Pray for me?

Samia

:)

I'm learning every day how inteligent my family is. Especially my Mom. :) She may be stubborn, but she is very intelligent.
I've surfed the net throughout the whole of class, now I'm in the second class (back to back, computer classes) and it looks like I might be doing the same thing in this class.TWO HOURS LEFT!! I'm going to die! Eventually anyway, if not today. :)
I need to take another nasal decongestant... my nose is stuffed up. It's getting really annoying. And I forgot to bring tissues today!
Hm, I'm running out of things to say... type...write...whatever...
OH!!
We might be moving!!! Hallelujah! I love moving!
I've grown up moving so often that after being in the same house for three years I've gotten restless. And now we're moving!! Yay! We're only moving like thrity minutes away, so it's not a big change of scenery, but I like boxes and there are boxes all over our house. It's wonderful!
I didn't get to see the maybe almost new house but it sounds wonderful! It's a california colonial wann-be. So it's really cute, with the criss cross windows and fruit trees in the back, and pretty dark notty wood trim inside and built in shelves. It's like a dream compared to our house now!
I still have an hour and a half left...
I'm going to go camping sometime this summer with my buddies. we're going to go to the beach and old town ventura, we'll do s'mores and hot dogs on sticks over the fire and sing songs and just have fun. I'm really looking forward to it.
We need to have a break. We've been in class for like and hour ish... I still really haven't learned anything new.
Hmm...
Hey, I learned something, now I know how to erase my cyber tracks :) hee hee, like I really needed to know that...
:)

In class again...

I'm thinking of changing the format of this blog. Just because I'm bored.

So, I have this kind of friend, that I saw the other day and I really enjoy hanging out with her family so I suggested that we have them over for dinner or something, and my mom said sure. Well okay, it wasn't that easy, I had to give reasons why we should, and contradict her reasons why we shouldn't. it was quite the battle and I almost won, but they still haven't been invited over yet. I don't know why I've gotten so stubborn about this, I really don't know them well at all. but I like being stubborn like this, I've gotten so much done. Mom said, Well, the patio is so messy and I don't want to have company out there. So I cleaned the patio. She said, What are we going to do about that sun that comes in so annoying? So I'm re-doing a screen thing made from old shutter style doors, so that we can put it at the edge of the patio and have shade. I'm so getting used. But I don't mind.
So, I have thirteen days left til camp. I'm so excited! I have already started packing. I hope my cold is gone by next week, cause then I'll be all energetic by the time camp comes. I'm so excited!!
We are having a luau on wednesday at youth group and we're going to dress up but I don't know what I'm going to wear... yeah, it's going to be a tough one. Hmm.

I took pictures of my best friend yesterday and her sister. we dressed them up kind of victorian and I did thier hai up nice and then I took pictures of them. In black and white. I'm going to develope the film today, I'm so excited! :)

I'm in class, and he just anounced break. I haven't learned anything yet today. He's going over changing your screensaver and customizing it... boring... stuff I figured out how to do myself.

I think I'm going to go facebook someone.

:)

Strange Book

So I read a book yesterday about a twelve year old girl who is, well, perfect. Literally. She was created in a lab in DC and is genetically perfect. But she hates it. when the dentist at school tells her she needs to see an orthodontist (which is bologna) she is ecstatic! "I'm not perfect!" she says excitedly.
Anyway. I really like the book and the idea. Perfect. I'm not genetically perfect. I'm not perfect in any way. But I bet if I really tried hard I could get closer than I am now. :-P
Yeah, it was inspiring. So last night I did fifty sit ups and I died. It's been a while. I need to work on them more often. I won't even tell you how many push ups I did. It's embarrassing. :-P
So, I've got a cold and I'm really not feeling well, but I'm going to go for a run tomarrow morning. And I am going to die again.
I'm not a cat. Really. I've died more than nine times. :-)
So, I have a project due on Monday and I have to have it done by tomorrow night because the lab isn't open on Fridays or weekends. So I have to develope two rolls of film today after class. And then I have to come back to the lab tomorrow. They're only open for five hours and I'm worried that it won't be enough time to get both of my proof sheets done and all four of my prints right. Printing is frustrating on a deadline.
Oh, well...
I might write more later. Computer class is repetetive and boring...
:-)
Samia

Tagged!

So, I've gotten pushed into a game. I am supposed to tell 6 quirky things about myself and then tag some fellow bloggers... :)

1. Um, this is going to be tough. Well, the first thing that has come to my head is my love of the stars. I love looking at them, reading about them, and wishing on them. (I know wishing on stars is kind of silly, but I like it anyways.) Even though I'm nearly a legal adult I still insist on having glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. :)

2. I have some pretty quirky fears, I guess. Contrary to the popular argument; there is a difference between the fear of heights and the fear of falling. I am evidence of that. I love heights! I love flying and climbing trees and sky-scrapers and clouds and (stars :) everything upwards. But, I am terribly afraid of falling, I don't do roller coasters (I can handle the little ones, but that's it), I don't like rock climbing, and I don't like really tall stools (I mean standing on the very top step of a really tall stool).

3. I prefer guys T-shirts. I know that's kind of not really quirky, but I'm running out of ideas.... Yeah, I don 'tlike the way girl's Ts fit, and I grew up on hand-me-downs from people who have boys, so I'm just used to them.

Yeah, that was rather lame.

4. I have unwittingly somehow begun a tradition of sitting in a wet chair at every high school camp. Always, unfailingly, every camp. It's cute. Lol. :)

5. Look up Loftus Family Photos and I guarantee you'll find at least four pictures of me with blue teeth. What can I say? I really like that blue frosting! :)

6. I am NOT a city girl. Maybe I should say it louder. I AM NOT A CITY GIRL. I grew up in Watertown NY for Mike's sake! I've been creek hopping since I was like 18 months old and riding horses since I was six. I prefer wild flowers over roses and fishing over coffee and shopping. I am from a very rural area and once upon a time I would have given you a snake or cricket for you birthday.
:)

There, hm. I wonder how much you'll not be surprised. And so now I guess I tag someone else.

Robert, Emma, ... I don't think I know anyone else on blogger...

Hmm.

Here are the rules:

* Link the person who tagged you
* Mention the rules in your blog.
* Tell about six unremarkable quirks of yours.
* Tag other bloggers by linking them. (They shall be "it")

Samia

:)

Hello :)

Supposedly we will be having a break in a few minutes, so I'll start writing now so that I can get more in.
Printing is frustrating, especially this week for some reason. Yesterday I developed a roll of film and while it was in the dryer somebody truned it of so that the photo flow smeared the film and now I have to spot tone all of my full prints. Which is a huge pain in the butt by the way. So today while I'm in lab between classes I have to spot tone an eight by ten photo that really didn't turn out well at all.
Oh, well. It's the first project of the semester so hopefully my grade won't be to terribly bad.
I got new wires put in my brackets so right now I'm in a lot of pain. The orthodontist told me she was just going to do the top because I wouldn't like her very much if she did both. But I told her to just get it over with and do both, so she did and now I can't feel anything but the teeth moving around in my head. It's very painful. I'll be eating only yogurt for a couple of days. And maybe some over ripe bananas too.
I'm excited about our next Photo project. It's called Me and My Shadow and the idea is to take seventy two very different images of shadows falling on one object or the object's shadow falling on someting else. I have some really cool ideas. I'm going to use a bicycle tire for my object and I'm really excited about it!! :)
Well class is back in session so, Au Revior!
Samia

Full Time?!?

Hello. I'm in class again. We're having a ten minute break, so I won't write lots. So I went to my best friend's house on sunday afternoon and she let me take pictures of her backyard for my photography class. We can't wait to see how they come out. I have to develope the film after this class is over and then make proofs and prints tonight after my photo class. I like the dark room, it makes me feel important and mysterious. Haha! I didn't think about that before I wrote it. That was funny. Anyway.
On Sunday my Mom pointed ou that there is a secritarial position available at our church. full time position. I kind of ignored her and made it look like it was a crazy idea. But I am seriouslly thinking about it. A full time job. That's really scary to me, but I've really got to get used to the idea eventually. I really enjoy working with people at church, so it really would be a great job and I really have no reason not to apply...
Well, I've got to go now, class started again about ten minutes ago...
:)

School in the summer should be illegal.

Hello, it's been a very long time. I'm sitting in computer class, so I may not make this too long.
Yes. I'm in school. In the summer. It sucks.
But I'm still going to begraduating two semesters early though. I'm also taking a black and white photography class, which is really cool. I get to work in the dark room doing lab work. It's fun. I felt so stupid the first day; I couldn't figure out how to open the camera to put the film in it. I found out later that I wasn't the only one.
Let's see what else has happened recently...?
Well, I can't think of anything at the moment, but I've still got an hour of class left, so I'll come up with something.
I have this strange, random, desire to do stuff for people. Like, I want to work for people, sort of, I can't explain it. I can do lots of things, that other people can't do, and I want to share that. Maybe it's just pride. I guess, maybe I just want to show off. But I want to do something! I feel so Idon't know, but I feel like I need to do something. It's wierd.
Any way, I think I'm going to stop here and email a friend, be back soon.
:)
Samia

Memories

Hello again!
I haven't anything imortant to say right off the bat so I'm going to babble. :)
I've kind of gotten a new job. I "Baby-sit" a little japanese kid. All I really do is entertain him while his mom does housework. I guess she doesn't believe in play-pens. My mom would be watching him at my house, but he's allergic to eggs, wheat, rice, milk, and soy. And we have dogs, so my mom doesn't want to risk making his skin worse (he has exima, which is made worse by his food allergies). So, yeah, I'm now an entertainer.
Some friends of my family are getting married on Friday, I'm so excited! My mom is like freaking out about what she's going to wear. It's so funny. I guess she decided that I have to go shopping with her sometime this week, ugh! I don't much like shopping. I prefer a plastic bag of hand-me-downs.
My room is clean! Isn't that amazing! It hasn't been clean in sooo long. My mom helped me clean out my closet and organize all my artsy crud. Haha, it's hilarious how much art stuff I've managed to accumulate in the three years we've been in this house. Wow! Three years! I never live anywhere for three years. This calls for a party! Really. We should have somebody over for dinner. We haven't done that in a while. We used to do it so much. Mom would make pot roast in the crock pot before church on Sundays and then if somebody came home with us (which was more often than not) we would have lots of food. I miss those times.
I miss a lot of things, a lot of people. My best friend was so right when she called me a nomad. Not only have I moved many times, but I've gotten used to it to the point that after one year of living someplace I get restless. But, three years here, that definately deserves something. An AC unit, or a real christmas tree, or something, anything! The AC unit would be a heavenly gift. SoCal in the summer; it should be illegal to not have some sort of effective cooling system. Swamp coolers do not count, people!! Really. Trust me, they just get you wet, and in the heat wet is definately not cool.
Well, I should go, I have homework to do, and then finals to study for. Yuch!
Samia

Hello! again

Well, Hello again. It's been a while. I have tomarrow and then Thursday to finish up skating. Get my fix and then focus on life and Christ. There are so many distractions in my life; I need to take like a month off from everything and clean out my room, throw lots of things away, organize my schedule(get used to the schedule), and catch up in my homework (i'm only a little bit behind...). Problem: I don't have two months to take off... I need help. Anybody want to come clean house? haha...yeah.
I know this was really short and had no point, but I've got stuff I need to be doing so see ya!
Samia

Skates out the window?

Well, that's the way it's looking right now. If I'm going to be going to college than I need to start saving, and skating isn't helping me do that. And, I really don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I wish I did, it's a beautiful sport. Though, the most important reason to stop is because I know the only reason I'm doing this is to get noticed. I don't think I've ever really consciously thought this but, I want to be famous and I need to stop wanting that. It's not about me.
And I haven't glorified God in any way through figure skating, so I shouldn't be doing it at all.
Well there's my answer I guess. I was going to go on about how much I don't enjoy it, but how much fun I had at practice yesterday. And maybe I do have what it takes, I'm lazy, undetermined and passive, but I can change that, right? But do I need figure skating to change that? What's the verse? If you are faithful with little you will be faithful with much (something like that) So maybe I do need to stop skating, so that I can learn to be faithful with all of the little things in my life. But I don't want to!
Would it really be giving up? or just refocusing? It's not like I was headed anywhere fast in this sport, so it can't be that I'm "giving up" or "quitting"...?
There is another major fault of mine. With how analytical I am it's a miracle that I have the faith to believe in Jesus! But I guess for anybody and everybody, that is a miracle.
So I need to "quit" skating. How in the world am I going to tell my coach?!

The Master's College

Wow! It's been a while since I last wrote anything here. I suppose quite a bit has happened. I can't remember how long ago I wrote last, so I'm not too sure were to begin. Hmm, I guess I'll have to just choose a place.
Well, I'll be graduating this spring and career options are too many. I had been thinking about photography, as you know, but I've learned that God had a different plan.
I don't know why he waited, I don't know what He was waiting for, but God made things happen just so, so that I would... I don't know...click(?). I know that God has perfect timing, which is what makes this so much more wonderful; He planned, from the begining of time (before even!) that I would be a delinquent until last week. And sure, I've still got sooo far to go, but I have been blessed with a new understanding of trust. I now understand what it means to let God take the steering wheel of my life and just follow Him.
This is a rather complicated story, so just hang with me, and hopefully you'll get it in the end; I'm still marvelling at how much God has done in my life in the last weekend!
On Thursday morning, I was listening to the radio. I had on a "christian" radio station and the man speaking was talking about a verse in Psalms... I don't remember exactly what it said, but the idea was that if you don't use what God has given you, He'll take it away. At the time I applied this to my skating. My coach says I've got talent, but I need to work hard in order to use that. To me, this was something I had heard so many times, but still seemed profound. I didn't realize how this would come into play again later.
That night I recieved an email from a friend of mine; challenging me to examine my motives and proposed course of action concerning career options; specifically photography. Here is a bit of it:
"Well, I think you understand it's pretty much impossible for me to decide or even make a judgment on whether or not you should be a photographer. But still, it's a very reasonable question. I was asking myself similiar questions recently, and I know the feeling when you just want someone to tell you what to do.
And it can be frustrating, because the Bible isn't that specific when we want direction such as career and school choices. However, there are principles you can apply.
Why?
Why do you want to pursue photography? Is it something you recently discovered you enjoy, and want to pursue it? You have to ask yourself what your long term goals are. And you have to remember what your obligations are. Is pursuing photography seeking first the kingdom of God? Is it something you really forsee being able to make a living off of, or is it just a fun hobby? Realistically, photography is a hard field to get into, and it's getting harder because so many people like it. But again, it comes down to what your long term goals are. If you plan on becoming a wife and mother, perhaps consider things that would enable you to do that to the best of your ability. Always remember you family as well. Pursuing a career for independence can be unwise, especially for a young lady who might be dependent on someone else someday. Photography is something you can really do anywhere, anytime, any place. But just try to get a vision for the long term. I think you have the creative talent to easily be a photographer, but I am speaking in ignorance because I really don't know the field all that well.
How?
What does pursuing photography look like? Going to CoC and taking a few classes? Going to a bigger school for it? Something you have to remember, a degree is just a piece of paper. Your not any different of a person with or without that paper, and for many people, a degree is not only a source of pride, but a huge source of debt. You can't count on God supplying a career that will pay back debt, that would be presumptuous. One of my friends here is pursuing a photography certificate via an online course, that might be a viable option for you. Am I saying that getting into any debt to go to school is wrong? No, but I would say getting into several thousand dollars of debt is unwise, and it limits you greatly... such is life and responsibility.
When?
How long would you pursue this? Again, it comes down to vision. Ok, so you get an associates in photography. Then what? The situation is different for a guy then a girl, but I would encourage you to hold onto your plans loosely. Photography could be a valuable skill to learn, and one that you might be able to earn a bit off of. But make sure you don't become independent because of it. Just remember, career is not the focus! Your life is in Christ is, and if that is not where it should be, then you already know what you need to pursue. As you pursue Him, trust me, your path will become clearer in time. Contentment and patience is key."
I was really touched by this. I have heard this maybe a million times, but God didn't want me to fully hear and understand it until now. Like I said, I don't understand it, but that's trust! To believe in something, to follow someone with your life in tow, even if you don't understand! Who would think that I could be capable of something like that!? God is so amazing!
Anyway, after I read this, I sat there for a few minutes just mulling it over and then God moved my hands to check out the Master's college website. A quick explaination is needed here: My Mother, my Aunt, and so many other people have been wanting me to go to the master's college, but I always resented the idea. I don't know why, I just did. I was ready to go to college anywhere but there! I didn't have any reasons, I just didn't want to go! Therefore, me checking out their website is pretty amazing!
I looked up requirements for admittance, campus rules, academic programs, dorm rules, financial aid.. and more. As I "flipped pages" I became more and more open to the idea of maybe going to Master's. It was amazing, God was completely changing my heart, just like that! Within twenty minutes I was sold! I felt God calling me to pursue Master's, and I was excited about it! For once in my life, at last, I was completely ready to follow whatever God throws in my path! Right now I've got my sight's set on Master's college! No one can have even the slightest idea of how amazing this is to me!
Moving on: My parents had been at bible study that night (I'd had to work so, I hadn't gone with them) and when they got back I was still sitting in front of the computer at the kitchen table. Of course, God tested my pride, and my Mother asked what I was doing. My first answer was "Nothing", but eventually she got it out of me and I had to swollow my pride and admit that she was right and I needed to go to the Master's college. She didn't seem too excited about it at first, because she didn't want to get her hopes crushed (if maybe I changed my mind).
"What're you going to do?" Well, frankly, I had no clue. God hadn't gotten me that far.
"How about music?" Well, I can't really read music that well.
Then God joined the conversation.
What you don't use, I may take away. From earlier that day, the radio.
I have a voice. A pretty darn good one. And sure, I don't know quite how to use it, but isn't the goal of education? to learn? I also have a creative knack that makes music composition a breeze. I will learn to read music, I just have to work at it. Wow. Thanks God! I have a goal! A direction! And the whole point of it is to glorify my savior! I don't know yet, how exactly I will glorify Him, but I know that the soveriegnty of God in my life is enough to make me glorify Him with my words. And evidence enough to make the angels sing His praises better than anybody could!
So, I ask myself, How am I going to pay for this? Master's isn't known as the cheapest college out there, very much the contrary, in fact. Master's is very expensive!
To answer this I have to back up just a little bit. Just about a week ago, my Father informed my Mom that he wants her to start looking for a full time out of the house job. None of the women in our lives were to particularly happy about this, but my Mom was quiet and obedient and she has started to work on her resume. She had been telling me of the places she was going to apply (this was on Wednesday, I believe) Grace Community School, the Grace Community church facilities office, The Master's seminary, and (get this) The Master's college! God lined that up for me before I had even a desire to go there! With my Mom working at Master's, not only will she be able to help me pay for it, but I won't have to pay as much, because she is working there! I have also been told by so many people that I could easily get a scholarship and my grades testify the same! God is so amazing!
I realize that maybe God is just opening this door momentarily in order to teach me to trust Him, and it could be that He doesn't want me to go to Master's at all. But right now He's pointing in that direction, and it's really obvious! So I will follow where He points until He points somewhere else. I will trust Him. "I will hold on to my savior. I will hold on with all my might. I will hold loosely the things that are fleating and I will hold onto Jesus for life."
Samia

Doggies 2

I realized yesterday that I never finished posting the photos of my dogs. So here they are!

The Boyz