I think that that's a pretty comprehensive statement. Nothing more needs to be said, I guess.
It's Monday morning and obviously, I'm not in class. I think my mind is a little fuzzy today, because I'm actually seriously considering not going back.
I've work as a clerk in a jewelry store in a mall for the last two years and quite frankly, I'd rather do that for a few more years than have to go to school for a whole semester.
I'm in the first half of my second semester and I've already dropped two classes just because I can't handle school.
I've gotta do something different. This is killing me.
It's not the work load. I can handle that. I'm one of those lucky people blessed with the ability to get A's with very little effort.
It's not the teachers. They're actually all a lot of fun, and I've survived through worse.
It's just the fact that it's school. It's getting up in the morning to go sit in a class room for an hour and a half (or three!) and listen to someone lecture me on things I won't remember next week! I know, I know, everybody should get a degree if they can. I know some people won't even look at your resume unless it's got college under your list of accomplishments. I know it means a higher paying job. I know it often means more intelligent coworkers. I know that it's a "good idea".
News flash: I don't want one.
I like going to work. I like my job. I didn't need a degree to get it. Heck, the hiring manager didn't even get a copy of my resume and he still hired me. I know that it isn't really a waste of time, but I still can't help twiddling my thumbs and staring at the wall. Out of all of the classes that I'm required to take, how many of them will I use? How many will I enjoy?
Which one's will I look back on and say, "Oh, I'm so glad that I took that class! I wouldn't have much of a life if I hadn't!".
They keep saying that in a few years I won't think the same way. Ok, so I'll wish I'd gotten my degree and had a nice cushy job? Does anyone who knows me think that that sounds accurate?
Timeout: Just so all my readers understand- I'm not trying to start an argument about the merits of college. I'm not saying that I'm quitting. I'm not asking for someone to correct my thinking, I understand how getting one's degree is a sensible thing.
I'm just letting out some frustration on the subject. Wishful thinking if you will. I know that all of what I've just said is childish and silly and I'm wasting my time saying it. But I'm frustrated. So bear with me or go read another blog.
Yesterday someone asked me how school was going and what I was studying. I told her I'm undecided and... and...
and I ran out of things to say, besides "I don't know" there wasn't anything to say.
I don't know. If I did I wouldn't be here. I'd be out there doing it, instead of sitting here wishing I knew what I was doing.
There was a time, once upon a time, that I actually got through school without this amount of frustration.
I was living on campus at a Bible college.
I still was a terrible student. I'll always be a terrible student. I bet people are reading this and saying, "You just don't appreciate education at all, do you?" I do. It just looks like I don't. I'm okay with that. I don't mind that people misjudge me. I understand that that's my fault and I'll work on it. Bunny rabbit trail...
Anyways-I got through classes alright, I didn't mind getting up to go, and most of the classes were things that I wanted to know- Bible classes. That I'd sit through in a heart beat, with pleasure. Please and thank you very much. :-)
So maybe that's what I need to do. But here's the thing. Colleges like that usually aren't cheap. Not in this state anyway.
I know of a few back east that are affordable, but do I want to go to school out of state? As I said earlier- I do like my job, and my family (obviously)...
Ah, the questions without answers...
I've been on here far too long.
Later, Dudes.
Samia
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