Well, that's the way it's looking right now. If I'm going to be going to college than I need to start saving, and skating isn't helping me do that. And, I really don't enjoy it as much as I used to. I wish I did, it's a beautiful sport. Though, the most important reason to stop is because I know the only reason I'm doing this is to get noticed. I don't think I've ever really consciously thought this but, I want to be famous and I need to stop wanting that. It's not about me.
And I haven't glorified God in any way through figure skating, so I shouldn't be doing it at all.
Well there's my answer I guess. I was going to go on about how much I don't enjoy it, but how much fun I had at practice yesterday. And maybe I do have what it takes, I'm lazy, undetermined and passive, but I can change that, right? But do I need figure skating to change that? What's the verse? If you are faithful with little you will be faithful with much (something like that) So maybe I do need to stop skating, so that I can learn to be faithful with all of the little things in my life. But I don't want to!
Would it really be giving up? or just refocusing? It's not like I was headed anywhere fast in this sport, so it can't be that I'm "giving up" or "quitting"...?
There is another major fault of mine. With how analytical I am it's a miracle that I have the faith to believe in Jesus! But I guess for anybody and everybody, that is a miracle.
So I need to "quit" skating. How in the world am I going to tell my coach?!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Master's College
Wow! It's been a while since I last wrote anything here. I suppose quite a bit has happened. I can't remember how long ago I wrote last, so I'm not too sure were to begin. Hmm, I guess I'll have to just choose a place.
Well, I'll be graduating this spring and career options are too many. I had been thinking about photography, as you know, but I've learned that God had a different plan.
I don't know why he waited, I don't know what He was waiting for, but God made things happen just so, so that I would... I don't know...click(?). I know that God has perfect timing, which is what makes this so much more wonderful; He planned, from the begining of time (before even!) that I would be a delinquent until last week. And sure, I've still got sooo far to go, but I have been blessed with a new understanding of trust. I now understand what it means to let God take the steering wheel of my life and just follow Him.
This is a rather complicated story, so just hang with me, and hopefully you'll get it in the end; I'm still marvelling at how much God has done in my life in the last weekend!
On Thursday morning, I was listening to the radio. I had on a "christian" radio station and the man speaking was talking about a verse in Psalms... I don't remember exactly what it said, but the idea was that if you don't use what God has given you, He'll take it away. At the time I applied this to my skating. My coach says I've got talent, but I need to work hard in order to use that. To me, this was something I had heard so many times, but still seemed profound. I didn't realize how this would come into play again later.
That night I recieved an email from a friend of mine; challenging me to examine my motives and proposed course of action concerning career options; specifically photography. Here is a bit of it:
"Well, I think you understand it's pretty much impossible for me to decide or even make a judgment on whether or not you should be a photographer. But still, it's a very reasonable question. I was asking myself similiar questions recently, and I know the feeling when you just want someone to tell you what to do.
And it can be frustrating, because the Bible isn't that specific when we want direction such as career and school choices. However, there are principles you can apply.
Why?
Why do you want to pursue photography? Is it something you recently discovered you enjoy, and want to pursue it? You have to ask yourself what your long term goals are. And you have to remember what your obligations are. Is pursuing photography seeking first the kingdom of God? Is it something you really forsee being able to make a living off of, or is it just a fun hobby? Realistically, photography is a hard field to get into, and it's getting harder because so many people like it. But again, it comes down to what your long term goals are. If you plan on becoming a wife and mother, perhaps consider things that would enable you to do that to the best of your ability. Always remember you family as well. Pursuing a career for independence can be unwise, especially for a young lady who might be dependent on someone else someday. Photography is something you can really do anywhere, anytime, any place. But just try to get a vision for the long term. I think you have the creative talent to easily be a photographer, but I am speaking in ignorance because I really don't know the field all that well.
How?
What does pursuing photography look like? Going to CoC and taking a few classes? Going to a bigger school for it? Something you have to remember, a degree is just a piece of paper. Your not any different of a person with or without that paper, and for many people, a degree is not only a source of pride, but a huge source of debt. You can't count on God supplying a career that will pay back debt, that would be presumptuous. One of my friends here is pursuing a photography certificate via an online course, that might be a viable option for you. Am I saying that getting into any debt to go to school is wrong? No, but I would say getting into several thousand dollars of debt is unwise, and it limits you greatly... such is life and responsibility.
When?
How long would you pursue this? Again, it comes down to vision. Ok, so you get an associates in photography. Then what? The situation is different for a guy then a girl, but I would encourage you to hold onto your plans loosely. Photography could be a valuable skill to learn, and one that you might be able to earn a bit off of. But make sure you don't become independent because of it. Just remember, career is not the focus! Your life is in Christ is, and if that is not where it should be, then you already know what you need to pursue. As you pursue Him, trust me, your path will become clearer in time. Contentment and patience is key."
I was really touched by this. I have heard this maybe a million times, but God didn't want me to fully hear and understand it until now. Like I said, I don't understand it, but that's trust! To believe in something, to follow someone with your life in tow, even if you don't understand! Who would think that I could be capable of something like that!? God is so amazing!
Anyway, after I read this, I sat there for a few minutes just mulling it over and then God moved my hands to check out the Master's college website. A quick explaination is needed here: My Mother, my Aunt, and so many other people have been wanting me to go to the master's college, but I always resented the idea. I don't know why, I just did. I was ready to go to college anywhere but there! I didn't have any reasons, I just didn't want to go! Therefore, me checking out their website is pretty amazing!
I looked up requirements for admittance, campus rules, academic programs, dorm rules, financial aid.. and more. As I "flipped pages" I became more and more open to the idea of maybe going to Master's. It was amazing, God was completely changing my heart, just like that! Within twenty minutes I was sold! I felt God calling me to pursue Master's, and I was excited about it! For once in my life, at last, I was completely ready to follow whatever God throws in my path! Right now I've got my sight's set on Master's college! No one can have even the slightest idea of how amazing this is to me!
Moving on: My parents had been at bible study that night (I'd had to work so, I hadn't gone with them) and when they got back I was still sitting in front of the computer at the kitchen table. Of course, God tested my pride, and my Mother asked what I was doing. My first answer was "Nothing", but eventually she got it out of me and I had to swollow my pride and admit that she was right and I needed to go to the Master's college. She didn't seem too excited about it at first, because she didn't want to get her hopes crushed (if maybe I changed my mind).
"What're you going to do?" Well, frankly, I had no clue. God hadn't gotten me that far.
"How about music?" Well, I can't really read music that well.
Then God joined the conversation.
What you don't use, I may take away. From earlier that day, the radio.
I have a voice. A pretty darn good one. And sure, I don't know quite how to use it, but isn't the goal of education? to learn? I also have a creative knack that makes music composition a breeze. I will learn to read music, I just have to work at it. Wow. Thanks God! I have a goal! A direction! And the whole point of it is to glorify my savior! I don't know yet, how exactly I will glorify Him, but I know that the soveriegnty of God in my life is enough to make me glorify Him with my words. And evidence enough to make the angels sing His praises better than anybody could!
So, I ask myself, How am I going to pay for this? Master's isn't known as the cheapest college out there, very much the contrary, in fact. Master's is very expensive!
To answer this I have to back up just a little bit. Just about a week ago, my Father informed my Mom that he wants her to start looking for a full time out of the house job. None of the women in our lives were to particularly happy about this, but my Mom was quiet and obedient and she has started to work on her resume. She had been telling me of the places she was going to apply (this was on Wednesday, I believe) Grace Community School, the Grace Community church facilities office, The Master's seminary, and (get this) The Master's college! God lined that up for me before I had even a desire to go there! With my Mom working at Master's, not only will she be able to help me pay for it, but I won't have to pay as much, because she is working there! I have also been told by so many people that I could easily get a scholarship and my grades testify the same! God is so amazing!
I realize that maybe God is just opening this door momentarily in order to teach me to trust Him, and it could be that He doesn't want me to go to Master's at all. But right now He's pointing in that direction, and it's really obvious! So I will follow where He points until He points somewhere else. I will trust Him. "I will hold on to my savior. I will hold on with all my might. I will hold loosely the things that are fleating and I will hold onto Jesus for life."
Samia
Well, I'll be graduating this spring and career options are too many. I had been thinking about photography, as you know, but I've learned that God had a different plan.
I don't know why he waited, I don't know what He was waiting for, but God made things happen just so, so that I would... I don't know...click(?). I know that God has perfect timing, which is what makes this so much more wonderful; He planned, from the begining of time (before even!) that I would be a delinquent until last week. And sure, I've still got sooo far to go, but I have been blessed with a new understanding of trust. I now understand what it means to let God take the steering wheel of my life and just follow Him.
This is a rather complicated story, so just hang with me, and hopefully you'll get it in the end; I'm still marvelling at how much God has done in my life in the last weekend!
On Thursday morning, I was listening to the radio. I had on a "christian" radio station and the man speaking was talking about a verse in Psalms... I don't remember exactly what it said, but the idea was that if you don't use what God has given you, He'll take it away. At the time I applied this to my skating. My coach says I've got talent, but I need to work hard in order to use that. To me, this was something I had heard so many times, but still seemed profound. I didn't realize how this would come into play again later.
That night I recieved an email from a friend of mine; challenging me to examine my motives and proposed course of action concerning career options; specifically photography. Here is a bit of it:
"Well, I think you understand it's pretty much impossible for me to decide or even make a judgment on whether or not you should be a photographer. But still, it's a very reasonable question. I was asking myself similiar questions recently, and I know the feeling when you just want someone to tell you what to do.
And it can be frustrating, because the Bible isn't that specific when we want direction such as career and school choices. However, there are principles you can apply.
Why?
Why do you want to pursue photography? Is it something you recently discovered you enjoy, and want to pursue it? You have to ask yourself what your long term goals are. And you have to remember what your obligations are. Is pursuing photography seeking first the kingdom of God? Is it something you really forsee being able to make a living off of, or is it just a fun hobby? Realistically, photography is a hard field to get into, and it's getting harder because so many people like it. But again, it comes down to what your long term goals are. If you plan on becoming a wife and mother, perhaps consider things that would enable you to do that to the best of your ability. Always remember you family as well. Pursuing a career for independence can be unwise, especially for a young lady who might be dependent on someone else someday. Photography is something you can really do anywhere, anytime, any place. But just try to get a vision for the long term. I think you have the creative talent to easily be a photographer, but I am speaking in ignorance because I really don't know the field all that well.
How?
What does pursuing photography look like? Going to CoC and taking a few classes? Going to a bigger school for it? Something you have to remember, a degree is just a piece of paper. Your not any different of a person with or without that paper, and for many people, a degree is not only a source of pride, but a huge source of debt. You can't count on God supplying a career that will pay back debt, that would be presumptuous. One of my friends here is pursuing a photography certificate via an online course, that might be a viable option for you. Am I saying that getting into any debt to go to school is wrong? No, but I would say getting into several thousand dollars of debt is unwise, and it limits you greatly... such is life and responsibility.
When?
How long would you pursue this? Again, it comes down to vision. Ok, so you get an associates in photography. Then what? The situation is different for a guy then a girl, but I would encourage you to hold onto your plans loosely. Photography could be a valuable skill to learn, and one that you might be able to earn a bit off of. But make sure you don't become independent because of it. Just remember, career is not the focus! Your life is in Christ is, and if that is not where it should be, then you already know what you need to pursue. As you pursue Him, trust me, your path will become clearer in time. Contentment and patience is key."
I was really touched by this. I have heard this maybe a million times, but God didn't want me to fully hear and understand it until now. Like I said, I don't understand it, but that's trust! To believe in something, to follow someone with your life in tow, even if you don't understand! Who would think that I could be capable of something like that!? God is so amazing!
Anyway, after I read this, I sat there for a few minutes just mulling it over and then God moved my hands to check out the Master's college website. A quick explaination is needed here: My Mother, my Aunt, and so many other people have been wanting me to go to the master's college, but I always resented the idea. I don't know why, I just did. I was ready to go to college anywhere but there! I didn't have any reasons, I just didn't want to go! Therefore, me checking out their website is pretty amazing!
I looked up requirements for admittance, campus rules, academic programs, dorm rules, financial aid.. and more. As I "flipped pages" I became more and more open to the idea of maybe going to Master's. It was amazing, God was completely changing my heart, just like that! Within twenty minutes I was sold! I felt God calling me to pursue Master's, and I was excited about it! For once in my life, at last, I was completely ready to follow whatever God throws in my path! Right now I've got my sight's set on Master's college! No one can have even the slightest idea of how amazing this is to me!
Moving on: My parents had been at bible study that night (I'd had to work so, I hadn't gone with them) and when they got back I was still sitting in front of the computer at the kitchen table. Of course, God tested my pride, and my Mother asked what I was doing. My first answer was "Nothing", but eventually she got it out of me and I had to swollow my pride and admit that she was right and I needed to go to the Master's college. She didn't seem too excited about it at first, because she didn't want to get her hopes crushed (if maybe I changed my mind).
"What're you going to do?" Well, frankly, I had no clue. God hadn't gotten me that far.
"How about music?" Well, I can't really read music that well.
Then God joined the conversation.
What you don't use, I may take away. From earlier that day, the radio.
I have a voice. A pretty darn good one. And sure, I don't know quite how to use it, but isn't the goal of education? to learn? I also have a creative knack that makes music composition a breeze. I will learn to read music, I just have to work at it. Wow. Thanks God! I have a goal! A direction! And the whole point of it is to glorify my savior! I don't know yet, how exactly I will glorify Him, but I know that the soveriegnty of God in my life is enough to make me glorify Him with my words. And evidence enough to make the angels sing His praises better than anybody could!
So, I ask myself, How am I going to pay for this? Master's isn't known as the cheapest college out there, very much the contrary, in fact. Master's is very expensive!
To answer this I have to back up just a little bit. Just about a week ago, my Father informed my Mom that he wants her to start looking for a full time out of the house job. None of the women in our lives were to particularly happy about this, but my Mom was quiet and obedient and she has started to work on her resume. She had been telling me of the places she was going to apply (this was on Wednesday, I believe) Grace Community School, the Grace Community church facilities office, The Master's seminary, and (get this) The Master's college! God lined that up for me before I had even a desire to go there! With my Mom working at Master's, not only will she be able to help me pay for it, but I won't have to pay as much, because she is working there! I have also been told by so many people that I could easily get a scholarship and my grades testify the same! God is so amazing!
I realize that maybe God is just opening this door momentarily in order to teach me to trust Him, and it could be that He doesn't want me to go to Master's at all. But right now He's pointing in that direction, and it's really obvious! So I will follow where He points until He points somewhere else. I will trust Him. "I will hold on to my savior. I will hold on with all my might. I will hold loosely the things that are fleating and I will hold onto Jesus for life."
Samia
Monday, April 7, 2008
Doggies 2
I realized yesterday that I never finished posting the photos of my dogs. So here they are!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
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