Oh boy...

I find myself in the possession of a bit of leisurely time and nothing leisurely to do with it. Yes, I am in it's possession rather than it being in mine, or else I would be doing something leisurely with it and enjoying myself immensely. Tonight is the first time in a few weeks that I have come home from work and not been exhausted and in want of sleep. And tonight I find myself in a very quiet, empty house. Well, no, it's not empty. There are plenty of people here, there always are, but they are sleeping. The sand man hasn't come for me yet. I hope he doesn't forget me all night long. That would be worse than exhaustion...
It's funny how life throws curve balls consistently and yet I still manage to be caught off guard by them. Things that ought to have been expected aren't and they come crashing down on me like it's never happened before. I pick myself up and brush myself off and look back over my shoulder to find the ruins of the last time I stopped learning from my mistakes.
I was reminded that I'm a complainer several times this week. Jude describes "grumblers and complainers" as being deserving of great judgement, ungodly sinners who have spoken against Him and will be judged by the Lord and ten thousands of His saints. I'd forgotten how seriously God takes sin.
But that's the gist of it, isn't it? Anytime that we need reminding of anything, it's because we've forgotten how seriously God takes our sin. He took it so seriously that He braved death and hell to save us from it.
And I complain about plaid shirts and paper cuts.
Some days I wish that my vocabulary (and my fingers) could keep up with my thoughts. Other days I'm glad that they can't. The world doesn't need to know what goes on in my head. But you can see the holes in my train of thought, can't you? Where I switch from one subject to the next and don't give an explanation or tie it to anything I've said previously? Sometimes I sit here for a good long while rereading what I've written and trying to fill in the gaps before I click the Publish button. Sometimes I don't.
I should pick up keeping a journal again. I used to write all the time when I was a kid. And Lord knows, my life would make quite the novel. It would be neat to be able to pass my stories on to my kids and my grand kids, if God gives me any.
*sigh*
One of these days I'll write my story down.
Right now I think I'll just write good night.
Good Night
-Samia