Monday, July 21, 2008

Leadership?

In my youth group at church, our small group leaders and staff members are constantly encouraging us to be leaders. Leaders: a difficult concept to describe. It's not really taking charge all the time. It's not telling other people what to do. It's more of knowing when to do what by way of pure observance. It's being a good example and encouraging others by example as well as actions and words.
I guess I've always thought of myself as the follower. The person that is constantly learning from someone else. Never a leader. I thought that it wasn't for me. I thought that I didn't have what it takes to be a leader. But now I think I was wrong.
Even if I don't enter church leadership, or get into politics, or become a police sheriff or anything like that; I can still be a leader. I must still be a leader. God has called us to encourage one another and to build one another up. That is leadership. I can't just sit back and let everyone encourage me. I've learned so much from doing nothing that I have so much to offer! This isn't just a point of view, not just a frame of mind; it's action. I need to be the first to speak, and not of myself. I need to be the first to act, in the intrest of others. I need to be the first to admit I don't know what I'm doing. I need to be deep in God's word so that every action reflects His glory, grace, and perfect holiness. And I need to make this more than words on paper.

:)

CAMP!!

I am soooo excited about summer camp!!

We leave on Sunday night and I will have lots of stories for this blog when I get back!
We're having a camp rally at church this Wednesday and hopefully we'll get to find out what teams we're on and what colors to bring (in clothing). I'm going to go to the thrift store on Thursday or Friday and I'm going to buy t-shirts in my team color (if I don't already have any) and a pair of black fitted cargo pants for when we play underground church.
Explanation: for those of you reading who don't know what underground church is, I shall explain: A few years ago at winter camp, with our previous pastor (Eric Bancroft), we played this game. Quincy Lema, a thin short red headed guy, comes up onto the stage with a big Tupperware box under his arm. "Alright," he says, kind of nonchalant,"We're going to play a game, I'm sure you've all heard of it." he places the box at his feet and bends down to open it, "best game in the world," he mumbles with a smile on his face. He pulls a deck of cards out of the box and as he throws them into the air he says, "You can guess what it's called" everyone in the audience moans. Fifty-two card pick up. yeah, right, the best game in the world.
Anyway, what happens next is rather foggy in my memory because it happened so fast and was so very frightful. All the light go out. The girls in the front row scream.
I was sitting next to my friend Jordan, who was sitting on the end of our row. Our pastor, when no one could see him, ran into the room and jump out at Jordan, screaming with all his might. i don't remember exactly what he said but the gist of it was : Be warned they are coming, you have to stay strong, you must stay together, don't let them break you. you have no idea what's in store for you. Run!
So, Eric, screams next to Jordan, and continues screaming all the way up the aisle to the stage where he hollers out more warnings, and then runs around the room for a few minutes shaking and screaming at people. He even pick up a freshman and carried him around the room a little bit before putting him back in his seat. And then, just as quick as he had come, he ran out the other door. to say everyone was a little shaken would be an understatement.
I think we sat there in somewhat silence for about half a minute and then the lights came back on. Everyone turned around in their seats to see who was coming in the door. two tall muscular men walk into the room. they are both wearing black ski masks, fitted black shirts and black cargo pants. I think I remember seeing guns at their sides. Behind them walks in BK, which of course made the whole thing fall apart. It's kind of hard not to recognize the tall Canadian man. Even dressed as Hitler (and very well done )he was still BK. Anyway, he comes in with more masked men behind him. What he said next is fuzzy but he basically told us that since we were Christians he was going to make us suffer and he was going to make a game of it. so we had five minutes to go back to our cabins and get on warmer clothes and then run. (it was a game, so after BK left, Quincy came back and gave us boundaries and rules and told us that our goal was to find Eric and become a part of his church) So we spent the rest of the night trying to avoid getting caught by the scary men who howl freakishly when they see you in the dark. The group I was in ran into two angels. the masked men couldn't take us back to jail if we were with an angel. there were rumors going around that there was a demon too. Apparently she was dressed as an angel but she was sending people toward the masked men instead of toward the pastor.

so there it is! and I am sooooo excited about playing it again this year. two years ago I was able to find the church. it was wonderful!! we sat on the ground in the cold dark and sang hymns and the pastor read scripture. Or at least he was trying to, I think he was speaking from memory...there wasn't enough light in those woods to see how many fingers on e had, much less words on a page.
So, much fun. And so inspiring and rejuvenating!
I can't wait!

Hm, I think I'll give my fingers a break for a moment.

:)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

That Dreadful Bus!

That makes me think of enchanted. "Nobody stabs MY bus!!"
lol
:)
I'm going to interupt myself for just a moment here:
My teacher had us send him an email with an attatched picture and a link in it. His emphesis was on correctly writing the messege as if you were sending a messege to a client or boss. So I did mine (I wasn't really paying attention, so I was worried I had done it wrong) and then the teacher called me over to his desk. Uh, oh, I thought. So I went up and he told me that I was doing "super" and he wanted to know what I was going to major in and then told me that he was really proud of me. Then he told me that I was doing really well and one day I would be very successful and that I should remember that he said it first. :) It was cute (he's a really big russian guy) So, obviously I was relieved. But it was cool and I thought I'd say that.

Okay, back to the Bus. Yuch!
So, Mom has this thing about me riding the bus to or from school, and somehow I've always managed to get myself out of it. Until today. I have to ride the bus home and, unless I walk, there is no way of getting out of it. And even thought the bus is terribly slow it would still be faster to ride the bus. I'm nervous. I'm going to walk to the transfer station so that I don't have to pay for a transfer ticket and I don't know how long it will take, so I'm going to give myself like 30-45 minutes to walk there and I'll probably get there way too early, but at least I won't miss the bus.
I sorta have a confession to make. I argued with my Mom last night about it and I was angry even until today (the ride here with her wasn't too pleasant). I was at fault. Even had I been correct, which I wasn't, i still would have been at fault. She's my Mother for mike's sake! i have plenty of reasons to be kind and long suffering and patient and loving, and no right to debate what she says. God put her over me, an I ought to obey her without question, even if I think it doesn't make sense, or I think it's scary.
Even though, I'm still terrified of taking the bus, I'm sorry that I was angry and I know that my aunt will read this and tell my Mom what I said. :) (thank you, btw)

:) "Thank you Jesus. I am shaking like a leaf. You have been the king of glory, now won't you be my prince of peace."

Oh!! I'm so excited!!! I dressed up my best friend and her little sister (I think I wrote about this already, actually, but oh well, I'll write it again)
anyway, I dressed them up victorian style and did thier hair pretty and took pictures of them in black and white and I'm going to develope the film today!! Hopefully I'll have enough time in the lab to print some of them too. I'm soooo excited about it!! On Monday, I printed three pictures of my other best friend and they turned out so cool! I hope she likes them (I'll show them to her tonight) because she looks awesome in front of the camera.

Oh!Oh! Oh! I just remembered! (my life is very exciting right now!!) On Monday we had a critique in my photo class and... oh, I've got to explain the assignment... :
My shadow and me ; pick an object to carry around taking pictures of it's shadow, and shadow's on it. Make four prints and matte them.
So I was able to finish the assignment on time, which no one in the class ever does, and I put them up on the wall for critique. I was the last person to get critiqued so as I'm waiting for my turn I'm beating myself up and thinking, oh, I should have paid more attention to how gray I made those proof sheets, argh, I didn't burn that corner of that print enough! and ect... And then the teacher gets to mine and completely blows me away! she says that it was perfect and she probably wouldn't have done quite as well and the prints were gorgeous and you couldn't see my spot toning and the presentation was perfect and you couldn't tell if that picture was upside down because it just turned out so well and really looked better that way... It was wonderfull!!! All I need to work on is varied distance in my proof sheets. that's all. she says that I set the bar so high that now I have a target on my back, because my work was so much better than every one else's. unfortunately this means I have to meet that bar on the next two projects as well, but, hey, I enjoy a good challenge! :)
it was so wonderfull that I've lost all attention to grammer! :) lol :)

so now the hardest part of course is to keep my head the same size it was when i'd thought that my project turned out bad. Humility. hm, so difficult. I hate my pride. and even in saying that I feel my head expanding because hey "I'm being more humble than you are!" funny, isn't that pride?

Well, I've typed my way through the first class of the day and I think I'm going to go check my email now.

:)

Pray for me?

Samia

:)

Monday, July 14, 2008

I'm learning every day how inteligent my family is. Especially my Mom. :) She may be stubborn, but she is very intelligent.
I've surfed the net throughout the whole of class, now I'm in the second class (back to back, computer classes) and it looks like I might be doing the same thing in this class.TWO HOURS LEFT!! I'm going to die! Eventually anyway, if not today. :)
I need to take another nasal decongestant... my nose is stuffed up. It's getting really annoying. And I forgot to bring tissues today!
Hm, I'm running out of things to say... type...write...whatever...
OH!!
We might be moving!!! Hallelujah! I love moving!
I've grown up moving so often that after being in the same house for three years I've gotten restless. And now we're moving!! Yay! We're only moving like thrity minutes away, so it's not a big change of scenery, but I like boxes and there are boxes all over our house. It's wonderful!
I didn't get to see the maybe almost new house but it sounds wonderful! It's a california colonial wann-be. So it's really cute, with the criss cross windows and fruit trees in the back, and pretty dark notty wood trim inside and built in shelves. It's like a dream compared to our house now!
I still have an hour and a half left...
I'm going to go camping sometime this summer with my buddies. we're going to go to the beach and old town ventura, we'll do s'mores and hot dogs on sticks over the fire and sing songs and just have fun. I'm really looking forward to it.
We need to have a break. We've been in class for like and hour ish... I still really haven't learned anything new.
Hmm...
Hey, I learned something, now I know how to erase my cyber tracks :) hee hee, like I really needed to know that...
:)

In class again...

I'm thinking of changing the format of this blog. Just because I'm bored.

So, I have this kind of friend, that I saw the other day and I really enjoy hanging out with her family so I suggested that we have them over for dinner or something, and my mom said sure. Well okay, it wasn't that easy, I had to give reasons why we should, and contradict her reasons why we shouldn't. it was quite the battle and I almost won, but they still haven't been invited over yet. I don't know why I've gotten so stubborn about this, I really don't know them well at all. but I like being stubborn like this, I've gotten so much done. Mom said, Well, the patio is so messy and I don't want to have company out there. So I cleaned the patio. She said, What are we going to do about that sun that comes in so annoying? So I'm re-doing a screen thing made from old shutter style doors, so that we can put it at the edge of the patio and have shade. I'm so getting used. But I don't mind.
So, I have thirteen days left til camp. I'm so excited! I have already started packing. I hope my cold is gone by next week, cause then I'll be all energetic by the time camp comes. I'm so excited!!
We are having a luau on wednesday at youth group and we're going to dress up but I don't know what I'm going to wear... yeah, it's going to be a tough one. Hmm.

I took pictures of my best friend yesterday and her sister. we dressed them up kind of victorian and I did thier hai up nice and then I took pictures of them. In black and white. I'm going to develope the film today, I'm so excited! :)

I'm in class, and he just anounced break. I haven't learned anything yet today. He's going over changing your screensaver and customizing it... boring... stuff I figured out how to do myself.

I think I'm going to go facebook someone.

:)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Strange Book

So I read a book yesterday about a twelve year old girl who is, well, perfect. Literally. She was created in a lab in DC and is genetically perfect. But she hates it. when the dentist at school tells her she needs to see an orthodontist (which is bologna) she is ecstatic! "I'm not perfect!" she says excitedly.
Anyway. I really like the book and the idea. Perfect. I'm not genetically perfect. I'm not perfect in any way. But I bet if I really tried hard I could get closer than I am now. :-P
Yeah, it was inspiring. So last night I did fifty sit ups and I died. It's been a while. I need to work on them more often. I won't even tell you how many push ups I did. It's embarrassing. :-P
So, I've got a cold and I'm really not feeling well, but I'm going to go for a run tomarrow morning. And I am going to die again.
I'm not a cat. Really. I've died more than nine times. :-)
So, I have a project due on Monday and I have to have it done by tomorrow night because the lab isn't open on Fridays or weekends. So I have to develope two rolls of film today after class. And then I have to come back to the lab tomorrow. They're only open for five hours and I'm worried that it won't be enough time to get both of my proof sheets done and all four of my prints right. Printing is frustrating on a deadline.
Oh, well...
I might write more later. Computer class is repetetive and boring...
:-)
Samia

Monday, July 7, 2008

Tagged!

So, I've gotten pushed into a game. I am supposed to tell 6 quirky things about myself and then tag some fellow bloggers... :)

1. Um, this is going to be tough. Well, the first thing that has come to my head is my love of the stars. I love looking at them, reading about them, and wishing on them. (I know wishing on stars is kind of silly, but I like it anyways.) Even though I'm nearly a legal adult I still insist on having glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. :)


2. I have some pretty quirky fears, I guess. Contrary to the popular argument; there is a difference between the fear of heights and the fear of falling. I am evidence of that. I love heights! I love flying and climbing trees and sky-scrapers and clouds and (stars :) everything upwards. But, I am terribly afraid of falling, I don't do roller coasters (I can handle the little ones, but that's it), I don't like rock climbing, and I don't like really tall stools (I mean standing on the very top step of a really tall stool).

3. I prefer guys T-shirts. I know that's kind of not really quirky, but I'm running out of ideas.... Yeah, I don 'tlike the way girl's Ts fit, and I grew up on hand-me-downs from people who have boys, so I'm just used to them.

Yeah, that was rather lame.

4. I have unwittingly somehow begun a tradition of sitting in a wet chair at every high school camp. Always, unfailingly, every camp. It's cute. Lol. :)

5. Look up Loftus Family Photos and I guarantee you'll find at least four pictures of me with blue teeth. What can I say? I really like that blue frosting! :)

6. I am NOT a city girl. Maybe I should say it louder. I AM NOT A CITY GIRL. I grew up in Watertown NY for Mike's sake! I've been creek hopping since I was like 18 months old and riding horses since I was six. I prefer wild flowers over roses and fishing over coffee and shopping. I am from a very rural area and once upon a time I would have given you a snake or cricket for you birthday.
:)


There, hm. I wonder how much you'll not be surprised. And so now I guess I tag someone else.

Robert, Emma, ... I don't think I know anyone else on blogger...

Hmm.

Here are the rules:

* Link the person who tagged you
* Mention the rules in your blog.
* Tell about six unremarkable quirks of yours.
* Tag other bloggers by linking them. (They shall be "it")

Samia

:)

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Hello :)

Supposedly we will be having a break in a few minutes, so I'll start writing now so that I can get more in.
Printing is frustrating, especially this week for some reason. Yesterday I developed a roll of film and while it was in the dryer somebody truned it of so that the photo flow smeared the film and now I have to spot tone all of my full prints. Which is a huge pain in the butt by the way. So today while I'm in lab between classes I have to spot tone an eight by ten photo that really didn't turn out well at all.
Oh, well. It's the first project of the semester so hopefully my grade won't be to terribly bad.
I got new wires put in my brackets so right now I'm in a lot of pain. The orthodontist told me she was just going to do the top because I wouldn't like her very much if she did both. But I told her to just get it over with and do both, so she did and now I can't feel anything but the teeth moving around in my head. It's very painful. I'll be eating only yogurt for a couple of days. And maybe some over ripe bananas too.
I'm excited about our next Photo project. It's called Me and My Shadow and the idea is to take seventy two very different images of shadows falling on one object or the object's shadow falling on someting else. I have some really cool ideas. I'm going to use a bicycle tire for my object and I'm really excited about it!! :)
Well class is back in session so, Au Revior!
Samia